


Colour Me In

by dametokillfor



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Selkies, fisherman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor
Summary: He’s not interested in cocoa, or warming up by the fire. He wants to take Leonard to bed, to share last tender moments with him, to take him apart and see his very soul, so he can remember every last piece of him.
 ---xIn which Leonard is a lonely fisherman, Ray is a naive selkie, and somehow it just works.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyperfectsummer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/gifts).



> This was written for the 2016 ColdAtom Secret Santa exchange on Tumblr. My recipient was [farflungstars](http://farflungstars.tumblr.com), whose wonderful Selkie prompt was almost nothing like the final product. My apologies for that, the entire thing took on a mind of it's own! I was aiming for around 2.5K and instead, here we are. 
> 
> Title from Damien Rice, whose music shaped a lot of this fic and helped a lot with the mood of the whole thing.

He’s warm. 

Even in sleep, barely covered by the sheets, he’s still a furnace. Ray almost feels burned skimming his fingers across Leonard’s spine, trying to memorise the feel of his skin. Soft, warm, scarred, imperfect,  _ perfect _ . 

His handsome face is half pressed into the pillow, and there’s drool falling from his full lips. It’s so messy, so natural that it’s making Ray’s heart clench, his stomach tighten and  _ fuck _ . 

Leonard’s breath hitches, as Ray brushes his fingers across the lower knobs of his spine and he lifts his head, slowly and sleepily. There’s pillow creases across his cheek, and Ray wants to smooth them out with his thumb. 

Leonard lifts his tired, grey eyes to look at Ray, a slow smile forming across his lips. 

“Do you ever sleep?” He asks, voice slow with sleepiness.

“Not here.” Ray replies, “Too much to miss if I close my eyes.” 

Leonard looks like he’d roll his eyes, if only he weren’t so tired. Ray’s earnestness has always amused him, even after seven years, he’s surprised by the lack of cynicism the younger man holds. 

“What time is it?” Leonard asks, easier than calling Ray out on his words. 

“Little after 6.” Ray replies, “Go back to sleep. We’ve got all day.”

Leonard looks like he’s contemplating it for a moment, before shaking his head, “Can’t sleep with you staring at me, like some kind of buzzard.” 

Ray smiles, tries to pretend he’s not delighted at the idea of another moment with Leonard. 

“Breakfast?”

\---

_ His mother had warned him about the fishermen, about their disregard for the creatures that lived in the vast ocean kingdom. He hadn’t listened, headstrong and curious, and now he was to be killed by one of them.  _

_ The little boat had come out of nowhere, tearing at his skin and knocking him for six. His head above water, he cried out as the pain made his vision blurry. The last sight he saw before the darkness had claimed him were frantic, but kind grey eyes meeting his, and a curse slipping from a sad mouth.  _

\---

Mick is nosing around his legs, the tiny dog desperate for any scraps Ray will spare him. Leonard had warned him against feeding him right from that first day, but Ray couldn’t resist. The pug had flashed his sad brown eyes at him, had whimpered in such a charming way that Ray had ended up sharing his fish with him, while Leonard’s back was turned. 

Mick’s old now, and he doesn’t move as well as he used to, but even now, Ray is putty in his little tan paws. Ray  _ accidentally  _ drops the end of a sausage on the floor and Mick yowls in appreciation before lapping it up. 

Leonard gives him a look across the table, and Ray shrugs, “It’s a goodbye.” 

\---

_ Ray had woken up on the sand, cold and wet. He felt wrong, he felt naked and exposed. He had heard stories of his kind making their way to the land, and what happened to them there. He’d never wanted it, he’d loved his home. This was  _ wrong _.  _

_ He lifted a hand, and held it up to his face. The skin was pale, the fingers long and unnatural, wide apart. The hard, shiny nails on the end nothing but a pointless distraction, not like his own claws. He quickly dropped his hand. It was wrong, he didn’t want to see more of this body, this skin that wasn’t his own. _

_ His skin. His  _ pelt _.  _

_ Ray had pushed himself up, meaning to search for his pelt, and instead had been greeted by a crippling pain in his head. He’d clutched at it with his hands, and screwed his eyes shut.  _

_ “What are you?” A voice from nearby demanded. _

_ The words sounded foreign, harsh, unlike the soft sounds his own family and friends used to communicate. It took Ray a moment to parse them out into something he could understand.  _

_ “Ray.”  _

_ “You ain’t like any ray I’ve seen before.”  _

_ “My  _ name _ is Ray. Raymond.”  _

_ Ray opened his eyes, dropped his hands and looked up to the voice’s owner. The grey eyed fisherman. His kind eyes had taken on a cynical, dark look. Ray wondered if he’d misjudged the man. _

_ “Okay, Raymond. Mind explaining to me then how one minute, I’m dragging an injured seal onto my boat and bringing him ashore. Next minute, there’s you. Naked Prince Charming.” The fisherman crossed his arms, “What are you?” _

_ “I’m a Selkie.” Ray huffed. _

_ The fisherman had simply stared, eyes boring into Ray’s.  _

_ “I’m a seal in the ocean, but on land I shed my skin and become human. Selkie.”  _

_ “Obviously.”  _

_ “Where’s my pelt?” _

_ “Your what?” _

_ “My skin, my sealskin.”  _

_ “I haven’t seen any sealskin since you changed.” The fisherman told him, “Just all that pale, human skin.”  _

_ “No, no!” The panic in Ray heightened, he needed his skin, he needed to go home and find his mother. He needed to apologize for never believing her, he needed to be close to her and let her tend his wounds. He needed to be anywhere but here, stuck in the broken, messy human form. He tried to push himself to his feet, but his body, his damn human body was aching and sore and complicated.  _

_ The fisherman moved to his side, grabbed hold of him, “Hey, hey! You’re injured, you shouldn’t be flailing about.” _

_ “No, you don’t understand. I need it.” Ray said, trying to push him away, “I need my skin, or I’m trapped. I’m trapped and I can’t be trapped. I can’t be human, I need it.” _

_ “We’ll find it. Okay, we’ll find it, but right now you need to rest. You’re going to hurt yourself worse.”  _

_ Intellectually, Ray knew he was right. He sagged against the fisherman, “I’m so tired.” _

_ “Let me get you back to my home, you can rest there for the night.”  _

_ “Just a night?” _

_ “Just a night.” The fisherman agreed.  _

\---

“What do you want?” Leonard asks, reaching for Ray’s hand across the table, “Anything. I’ll make it happen.”

Ray thinks for a long moment, as Leonard’s thumbs brushes across his knuckles, and Mick rubs against his calf.

There’s nothing else he could want.

\---

_ It was four nights before Leonard would even let Ray up from the bed, except for the essentials. He brought him food, a spicy fish broth, and hot tea. He tended the wounds at his side, and made sure Ray was comfortable.   _

_ Yet he also made jokes, about never having had such a handsome man in his bed before, and crude observations about whether Selkie men needed to breathe. This was what Ray knew of the humans, obsessed with carnal desires and pleasures of the flesh.  _

_ Leonard was a handsome man, Ray couldn’t deny that, but he also truly hoped he wasn’t planning to take him as his Selkie wife. Ray wanted to give his heart freely, on his own terms, to a partner of his own choosing.  _

_ When he wasn’t tending to him, Leonard went out in search of Ray’s skin, taking his small yapping dog with him. He told Ray he’d searched every inch of the small cove, and there wasn’t a trace of it.  _

_ Ray was surprised to find he believed him.  _

_ There was never really any discussion about where Ray would go now he was stuck on land. Leonard had simply shown him where everything was in the small house, properly introduced the small dog as Mick and told him he’d be out to sea a lot.  _

\---

They stand side by side, cleaning the dishes together. Ray bumping Leonard’s hip, Leonard splashing him with water. They’re laughing, and not getting anything done very fast, and Ray wouldn’t change it for anything. 

Leonard’s smile is bright, and blinding, and Ray wonders if he’ll be able to see it from the ocean. 

\---

_ Nothing really changed in their first year together. Leonard would go out early to catch fish, would take them into the local town to sell, and return in the evening. He’d make them dinner, and retire to bed early.  _

_ Ray would stay awake til the early hours, reading one of the well thumbed books in the small living area. Stories of adventure, daring rogues, clever inventors, magic and mystery drew his eyes the most, but he had a soft spot for the romances as well.  _

_ He’d sit up, in the large living room chair, with Mick snoring softly on his lap or by his side, and often fall asleep with his head in a book. He’d wake up later in the day with an ache in his neck, and a blanket pulled over him. His book would always have its place marked with an old photo of a pretty young girl, who couldn’t be much older than 14.  _

_ Ray asked who she was the first night he’d found the photo, and the look Leonard had given him in lieu of an answer had turned his blood cold.  _

_ It took another year for him to find the answer. _

\---

The dishes done, with several breaks for soft kisses and bubble fights, Ray asks if they can take a walk into the town. He wants to say goodbye to his friends, to Sara and Barry. He wants to see the bustling human world one final time, to have a final taste of the sweet wine he’d become so obsessed with over the time he was here. 

“Is that really a good idea, Raymond?” Leonard asks, a wicked smile on his face. 

\---

_ It took a long few weeks of needling before Leonard let Ray join him on a trip to the town. Ray had to promise to behave, which he had done with a bounce in his step. Leonard had rolled his eyes, and thrown an old battered jacket at him, announcing he’d need to stay warm outside.  _

_ They’d walked the two miles with Ray constantly asking questions about the things he was seeing around him. The mountains, the trees, the people who walked by. He’d nearly screamed when he saw the small horse drawn cart come past them. Leonard had laughed at him for the first time then. He’d been all amused smiles for the past year and a half, but a laugh was new.  _

_ Ray liked it.  _

_ The town itself was beautiful, and Ray told Leonard so. All the houses were painted white, with dark grey rooves. The people milling around were happy, and greeted them as they passed. Everyone seemed to know Leonard, and it left Ray wondering why he spent so much time alone.  _

_ He hadn’t had a chance to ask, as Leonard had taken his arm and pulled him into the small grey stone pub.  _

_ Ray had heard of places like this from Leonard’s books. Places where people drank ale, and whisky and their heads became fuzzy, and their hearts desires spilled freely from their mouths. They hadn’t really seemed too appealing.  _

_ Leonard had pushed Ray down into a seat at a table in the corner, and told him to wait. He’d moved headed across to the bar, and started talking with a pretty blonde woman. Ray hadn’t really known what to do, so had just taken in his surroundings. _

_ The pub was nicer than Ray had been lead to believe they would be. There were old men at one table, playing a game with cards that looks far too complicated for Ray to understand. There was a young man, hungrily shovelling food into his mouth, much to the disgust of the young woman sat across from him. An older, bearded man, with his arm around a scantily clad younger woman. He was whispering things into her ear, making her blush and giggle.  _

_ Ray’s eyeline was cut off by Leonard returning, taking the seat opposite him. He placed a mug of ale down in front of himself, and pushed a tall glass across to Ray. The glass was filled with a honey coloured liquid. Ray picked it up and sniffed at it, it smelled pleasant enough, sweet and fragrant. _

_ “What’s this?” Ray asked. _

_ “A human delicacy.” Leonard replied, a smirk on his face. He nodded to the glass, “Try it.” _

_ An hour and four glasses later, Ray was giggling near hysterically and face down on the table. His head felt heavy and he didn’t quite know what was so funny. Leonard had all but carried him home, with a little help from one of the older bar patrons.  _

_ Ray didn’t remember much about the rest of the night, but he never forgot the terrible headache he woke up with the next morning.  _

\---

The walk into town is bittersweet, as Ray tries to memorise every hill, every tree, every meandering road. The sound of Mick’s paws pattering across the gravel path.

The feeling of Leonard’s hand in his. 

There’s so much for him to remember, he’s scared something will fall through the cracks. It  _ can’t _ be Leonard. 

“Will you remember me?” Ray asks, as they walk. His voice is quiet, he doesn’t know if Leonard even heard him. 

“Fondly.” Leonard replies, “Whenever someone vomits on my dog, or eats all my food, or asks me intrusive questions about my life.”

\---

_ “Why don’t you live in the town? And why do you live by yourself?” Ray asked, across dinner one night.   _

_ Leonard gave him a look which would have put most people off.  But Ray wasn’t most people.  _

_ “I mean, Sara at the pub obviously likes you, and so does Officer Allen.” Ray continued, “So why is it just you?” _

_ A bark from Mick.  _

_ “And Mick, all the way out here?” _

_ “Because that’s how I like things.” Leonard said. His tone of voice beggared no argument.  _

_ Not that that stopped Ray.  _

_ “No, it isn’t.”  _

_ “And how do you know what I like, Raymond?” _

_ “Well, you’re the only person I’ve spent any real time around for the past two years.” Ray pointed out.  _

_ “Doesn’t mean you know me.” _

_ Ray smiled, put his spoon down on the table and cracked his knuckles.   _

_ “You don’t like being a fisherman. You do it because it keeps you away from people.”  _

_ “What gives you that idea?” _

_ Leonard’s voice had dipped into a purr. This was a game. He wanted to win. _

_ “You’re terrible at getting up in the morning. If it was in your blood, something you truly loved, you wouldn’t need Mick to hump your leg awake every morning.” _

_ Mick had the good grace to whine a little in embarrassment.   _

_ “Maybe I’m just not a morning person.” _

_ “You can’t tell the difference between haddock and pollock.” _

_ “You obviously can?” _

_ “Selkie, Leonard.” Ray helpfully reminded him.  _

_ Leonard waved his hand dismissively, “Lucky guess. Most people hate their jobs.” _

_ “I never did.” _

_ Leonard cocked an eyebrow.  _

_ “I looked after the pups, while their parents fished.” Ray explained, “We don’t just flap around, swimming all day.” _

_ Leonard was trying to hide a small smile, as if he was charmed by the idea of Ray playing with Selkie pups.  _

_ “Okay, I hate my job. That’s no secret. Doesn’t mean you know me.” Leonard wasn’t about to let Ray know he’d got under his skin, not with something so small. _

_ Ray smiled. He could do this, “The girl in the photo is your sister.”  _

_ Leonard’s smile dropped, his hand gripping the fork so tightly that his knuckles had gone white. Ray hadn’t noticed the tension in the room, and continued to talk.  _

_ “See, I thought your wife at first, but she’s too young. Also with the way you look at me, and Officer Allen, the way you talked on those first nights, your preferences don’t lie with women, which also ruled out daughter.” Ray continued. _

_ “Raymond.”  _

_ “I think she’s why you live out here as well,” Ray didn’t pick up on the warning in Leonard’s tone, “Something happened with her, and you couldn’t stay near…” _

_ Leonard slammed his hands on the table, and Ray jumped in fear at the noise. Leonard pushed himself to his feet, and stormed from the room. Ray was in two minds as to whether to follow him, when the door to the house had slammed shut.  _

\---

The pub itself was quiet, the few regular customers still propping up the bar at 11AM, Sara and Stein behind the bar. Leonard and Ray made their way through the maze of tables, Mick making sure to sniff and growl at every chair leg they passed, and found their way to their favourite spot in the back. 

“I’m going to miss this place.” Ray admits, “We don’t have places like this. Obviously.”

“Your drinks would be even more watered down.” Leonard muses, with a smile.

“I resent that.” Sara says, dropping down on the stool across from them, “I have never watered down a drink in my life. I won’t get Ray drunk on water.”

“Worth a shot.” Leonard smirks. 

Ray huffs, “M’not that bad.”

Leonard squeezes Ray’s thigh under the table, “You really, truly are.” 

He gets to his feet, and walks across to the bar. Ray watches as he leaves, and hell, even these brief moments without Leonard by his side are killing him. 

“Why are you leaving?” Sara asks, bringing him back to the moment. 

Ray looks back to her, “What?”

“Why are you leaving him?” Sara asks, “You could stay here with him. You  _ should _ stay with him.”

“ _ Sara. _ ” 

“ _ Raymond. _ ”

And the thing is, Ray is struggling to think of reasons he should go home. He knows he should, he knows he should be longing for the sea, and his family and that they deserve to know what’s happened to him. 

But here there’s Leonard.

“Don’t ask me to stay.”

“But if Leonard did?” Sara asks. 

Ray stays quiet. 

“I’ve never seen Len happy, Ray.” Sara tells him, “After Lisa, we didn’t think he’d be okay again, and then you came along.” 

\---

_ When Ray woke up, Leonard was in the chair in the corner of the room, slunk down low, bottle in his hand. The curtains were drawn, and the lights were off.  _

_ “Leonard?” Ray rubbed at his eyes. _

_ “Her name was Lisa. She’s dead.” Leonard said.  _

_ His voice sounded hoarse, like he’d been crying or screaming, or possibly both. His words also sounded slurred, the bottle was probably empty.  _

_ “Leonard, I’m so sorry.” _

_ “Our Dad was a bastard. He used to drink too much, and then he’d take his problems out on us with his fists. I’d take the brunt of it, get Lisa as far away from me everything as I can, but…” Leonard took a deep breath to get himself under control, “I wasn’t there that day, and when I got… when I got home…” _

_ Ray wanted to get to his feet, to wrap Leonard in his arms and hold him close. He didn’t know if Leonard even wanted him near him, so he kept his arms around his knees.  _

_ “He begged me to help hide her, to help him cover it but I… I snapped.” Leonard explained, “I grabbed a knife, and… I killed him. I killed the bastard. They found me the next morning, holding her and covered in his blood. I went to jail, spent ten years inside because of him. _

_ “I came out here because I couldn’t handle the goddamn looks of pity on everyone’s face in that damn town, how sorry everyone was for Lisa when they didn’t goddamn know her, or care when we were being fucking hurt.” Leonard’s voice had broken, and Ray’s heart had gone with it.  _

_ “Leonard.” _

_ “So, you were right, Raymond. Something happened, and I don’t want to be around people anymore.” Leonard snapped, “But you… fucking… you.” _

_ “You’d be surprised how often I’ve heard that.” Ray said, with a smile. _

_ A small smile came across Leonard’s face, “I wouldn’t.” _

_ “I am sorry, Leonard.” Ray told him, “Truly.” _

_ Leonard shook his head, “You fucking are as well.” _

_ A long moment of silence had stretched between them, before Leonard finally piped up again. _

_ “Thank you, Ray.” _

\---

“I have to, Sara. My family…”

“You’ve been gone seven years, Ray.” She’s not trying to be cruel, she’s trying to be honest and it’s not like Ray hasn’t wondered if they even remember him, “What about the family you’d leave behind?”

“He’s made his choice, Sara.” Leonard says, as he returns to the table. He places a glass of wine in front of Ray, and sits next to him. 

“The wrong choice.” Sara mutters, “Leonard, how can you let him leave?”

“I’m not letting him do anything, Sara.” Leonard snaps back. 

“I can hear you, by the way.” Ray says into his glass. He doesn’t want to argue. He’s fought with his own mind long enough over this, he doesn’t need his friends to do it too. 

“You’re happy for the first time since I’ve known you, and you’re going to give that up?” Sara asks, “This isn’t the Leonard I know.”

“Then maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” Leonard replies, angrily. 

“Obviously not.” Sara gets to her feet and turns to Ray. Her look softens, she smiles sadly, “I’ll miss you, Ray.”

Ray stands as well, wraps his arms around Sara, “You too, Sara.” 

\---

_ Ray soon learned that Sara Lance, local barmaid and one of Leonard’s only friends, is a terrible person. She took great delight in getting Ray as drunk as possible, and teasing embarrassing stories and confessions out of him. She knew that he was a little scared of Mick at first, that he ate an orange with the skin on because he’d not been told to peel it, and that he thought Leonard was broken when he first heard him snore.  _

_ Leonard had needed to go and discuss something with one of the market traders, and had brought Ray into town, told him to wait in the pub with Sara.  _

_ That had been two glasses of wine ago, and Ray still hadn’t quite learned to hold his booze.  _

_ Ray was leant on the bar, loose and smiling while telling Sara about the turf war his brother, Sidney had got into with a school of dolphins.  _

_ “An’ one of them thought I was him! I have the scar!” Ray pointed to a scar in his eyebrow, “I didn’t know I’d have the scar in this form, and this dolphin bit my face because he thought I was Sidney! I don’t look anythin’ like him, just cause we’re identical twins…” _

_ Sara just laughed and poured more of the wine into his glass, which Ray happily drank down.  _

_ “Who won?” Sara asked, “The turf war.” _

_ “The dolphins. They’re sneaky. Underhanded.” Ray lowered his voice, “Bastards.” _

_ Sara laughed fondly, while Ray turned to look around the bar. _

_ “Looking for Leonard?” Sara asked. _

_ “Yeah.” Ray turned back and rested his chin on folded arms.  _

_ “You really like him, don’t you?”  _

_ “Leonard’s the best human I’ve ever met. I mean, I don’t know many, but he’s definitely my favourite.” _

_ “And he’s pretty handsome, right?”  _

_ “Pfff, so handsome.” Ray agreed. _

_ “You ever told him this?” Sara looked over Ray’s shoulder, nodded at an incoming customer.  _

_ “You think I should?” Ray asked, lifting his head up. _

_ “Definitely.”  _

_ “Please stop corrupting my lodger, Sara.” Leonard’s voice was warm and familiar and it always made Ray feel safer.  _

_ He turned to look at Leonard, “Hey, Leonard. Sara thinks I should tell you I think you’re handsome.”  _

_ Leonard shot a glare at Sara, “You’re cut off.” _

_ “Boo.” Sara and Ray said in unison. _

_ (When Leonard had got Ray to bed that night, he could have sworn he’d felt a kiss on his head, and a whisper of “You’re pretty handsome yourself.”) _

_ \--- _

“Please don’t be mad at Sara.” 

“I’m not mad at her.” Leonard insists.

“You seem pretty mad.” 

“Drop it, Raymond.” 

Leonard’s voice has turned cold, has turned into a cruel drawl and it’s not how Ray wants to remember him. 

“Do you want to leave?” Ray asks.

“No,  _ I _ want to stay.”

And Ray gets the feeling this is another one of those conversations that is outwardly about one thing, but is actually about Ray leaving him. Ray doesn’t have the energy for this right now, and gets to his feet. 

“Where are you going?” Leonard asks.

“I need some air.” Ray replies. 

\---

_ Leonard never mentioned Ray’s confession, possibly because he was embarrassed, possibly because he didn’t believe it. Ray, however, couldn’t stop thinking about it. _

_ He did think Leonard was handsome, and he was his favourite human. He was sure the term he was supposed to use was best friend, but that didn’t seem right. Leonard was more than that. Leonard was the person making dry land bearable. Leonard took him in, looked after him, nursed him back to health. Leonard shared deep, private things with him, that he’d never share with anyone else. Leonard showed him the world, and sometimes looked at Ray like he was the world. Ray liked when he looked at him like that. He wondered if he looked at Leonard like that.  _

_ He’d found himself drawn more to the romantic fiction since the talk with Sara, and Leonard had been his Heathcliff, his Rochester, his Mr Darcy as he’d read. (It hadn’t bothered him that he’d mentally cast himself as Cathy, Jane and Elizabeth, he was progressive). There was a warmth in his stomach, and it felt right.  _

_ He let himself think about Leonard looking at other men, touching them, or kissing them, and it hurts. His chest was tight, and he felt sick. He didn’t want to watch as Leonard fell in love with Barry, or the pretty boy at the bar, or anyone.  _

_ The thoughts had started to keep him up at night, as he tried to figure out what to do with them. He could tell Leonard, and watch him laugh in his face. Or he could hide under the blankets on the sofa, and pretend he wasn’t awake at 4AM when Leonard got up for work.  _

\---

Ray stands at the edge of the beach, staring out at the sea. A crazy part of him wants to run in now, never look back and forget all about Leonard Snart. He knows it’s because he’s pissed off at the man, but it doesn’t make the call of the ocean any less strong. 

Being human is messy, and complicated, and it hurts as much as it feels good, and Ray isn’t very good at it. 

He hears footsteps behind him, and they’re too light to be Leonard. He’s both relieved and sad at the same time, and he hates it.

“Sara gets a hug, and I don’t even get a handshake?”

Officer Allen. Barry. Ray’s only other friend on land. Ray turns around and smiles sadly at him. 

“I wasn’t going yet.” Ray assures him, “I think.”

Barry comes to stand by Ray, “I saw you two fighting.”

“I don’t like fighting. It’s messy, and so  _ human _ .” Ray huffs. 

“One of our many flaws.” Barry agrees, “Thought Snart seems to have it down to an art.”

“Especially this fight.” Ray hates how bitter he sounds. Selkies don’t get bitter. They’re happy, playful creatures. He’s... he’s just not anymore. 

“Why are you leaving?” Barry asks, before quickly adding, “You don’t have to answer. I just thought you and Snart were happy.”

“I have to.” Ray replies, “If I don’t, I can never go home.”

Barry nods, “You sure you’re not already home?”

\---

_ Ray wanted to talk to Sara, but she’d had her eye caught by a beautiful, dark skinned woman and Ray didn’t want to intrude.   _

_ He sat patiently at his and Leonard’s regular table, sipping a glass of water and picking at a large meat pie Stein had dropped in front of him.  _

_ Leonard was still the only thing Ray could think about, and it was driving him insane. He wished he had more people to talk to about what was going on in his head, but aside from Sara, he didn’t really have anyone. (And Mick was exactly no help).  _

_ “I didn’t think anyone could make one of Stein’s pies last that long.”  _

_ Ray looked up to see Officer Barry Allen looking down at him, with a warm smile. _

_ “We usually feed them to one of the dogs.” Barry jerked his head to where Mick was devouring the pie a sheepish looking girl had dropped on the floor.  _

_ Barry nodded to the free seat opposite Ray, “Do you mind?” _

_ “No, go ahead.” _

_ Barry sat down, and placed his helmet down by his feet. _

_ “Are you okay?” Barry asked, “You look less... Ray than usual. You’re normally more cheerful than this.” _

_ Ray hadn’t intended to spill his problems out to Barry, but Barry had asked. _

_ He’s pretty certain Barry had regretted asking twenty minutes later, when Ray had finally finished unloading his confusing feelings about Leonard and had his head resting on the table.  _

_ “Wow.” _

_ “Yeah.” Ray agreed, into his arm, “I don’t know what to do.” _

_ “Besides telling him?” _

_ “Except telling him.” _

_ “Why can’t you tell him?” _

_ Ray looked up to Barry, who was smiling and looked slightly amused by the whole thing. _

_ “Because.” Ray replied. One of Leonard’s favourite answers when Ray is annoying him. _

_ “Ray, I’ve know Snart a long time.” Barry told him, “And I can count the amount of people he’s kept around as long as you on one hand. Tell him.” _

_ Ray opened his mouth to disagree, but Barry cut him off, “Trust me.” _

\---

Ray made sure to hug Barry so hard before he left that he probably broke a rib, so he’s certain the sound of feet behind him aren’t him coming back for more. He also knows those footfalls after seven years, and as much as he just wants to turn and run towards them, he’s still pissed.

“Raymond.” 

“I’m not leaving without saying goodbye,” Ray assures him.

Leonard comes up beside him, “Good. I’d hate to have to kidnap you from the sea to say goodbye.”

“You’d probably catch a sea lion by mistake.” 

Leonard huffs a small laugh.

Ray turns to look at him, “I don’t want to fight.”

“Me neither.” He slides a hand into Ray’s, “Do you want to go back to the house?”

Ray nods, turning to look back to the ocean, “I think I can remember this well enough now.”

\---

_ Ray had planned on being cool, suave and irresistible when he told Leonard how he felt about him. He’d planned to wear the nice shirt that Leonard had got him for the Christmas dance the year before, to try and make something for dinner so Leonard didn’t have to force himself to stay awake as he cooked.  _

_ He’d planned to have the perfect night for them. _

_ What he’d got was a burned fish, smoke filling the small kitchen, a bright red stain across the front of the shirt and a yapping Mick, topped off with a grumbling Leonard. _

_ Ray had been thrown out of the kitchen, and was sat on the couch, while Mick fixed him with a look that was far too judgmental for a dog.  _

_ Leonard had come out of the kitchen, with soot blackened fingers and a face like thunder.   _

_ “What the hell, Raymond?” _

_ Ray smiled, sheepish and uncertain, “Surprise?” _

_ Leonard had stared at him for a long moment, before he’d started laughing. Ray had wondered for a moment if he’d broken him. He’d nearly burned down his house, and now Leonard was laughing at him. It seemed a little confusing.  _

_ “You’re an idiot.” Leonard sounded fond, and the soft smile on his face was one Ray didn’t think he’d ever seen before.  _

_ Now or never. _

_ “I just wanted to do something nice for you, since you do so much for me.” Ray explained, “And I really like you.” _

_ Leonard took a moment, and Ray didn’t know secondary could feel so long.  _

_ “So you thought you’d burn down my house?”  _

_ “Kitchen.” Ray corrected him, “I only burned the kitchen.” _

_ “Semantics.”  _

_ Leonard walked across the room, and took a seat next to Ray, “Normally when you like someone you don’t burn their property.” _

_ “I’ll remember that for next time.”  _

_ Leonard looked up at him, still with a stupid smile that seemed out of place on his face. The moment of silence that fell seemed to last forever, until finally Leonard spoke, “I really hope there isn’t a next time.” _

_ Leonard’s eyes fell closed and he leaned forward, pressing the softest, sweetest of kisses to Ray’s lips. It was strange, a little scary, but better than anything Ray could have ever dreamed of.  _

_ Leonard’s hand came up to cup Ray’s cheek and his thumb stroked along his cheekbone. He pulled back, ever so slightly, eyes opening and looking at Ray with an intensity that was almost too much.  _

_ “I really like you too.” Leonard told him, “In case the lack of fire confused you.” _

_ \--- _

The heavens had opened as the three of them had walked home. The rain falling so hard that it had hurt their skin, the thunder exploding overhead, as lightning split the sky. 

Leonard had taken a shaking Mick into his arms as they’d run the final half mile, alternating between cursing and laughing. 

Now in front of the warm fire, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, Ray feels almost like the storm himself. Turbulent, wild, cold. 

Leonard is in the kitchen, warming milk over the stove, and Ray feels like ice without him by his side. He looks up to the clock over the fireplace, sees the late afternoon time and wishes time could stand still. 

As the seconds keep ticking by, Ray gets to his feet. He doesn’t want to be away from Leonard a second longer than he has to be. He goes to the kitchen, where Leonard is stirring the milk in a copper bottom pot.

Ray comes up behind him, wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head in his neck. 

Leonard leans back into the embrace for a moment, before turning round to face Ray. 

“Wh- ?”

Ray silences him with a kiss. He’s not interested in cocoa, or warming up by the fire. He wants to take Leonard to bed, to share last tender moments with him, to take him apart and see his very soul, so he can remember every last piece of him.

\---

_ “I found it.” Leonard told Ray, as they lay together after their first night.  _

_ “You found what? Wait, my pelt?”  _

_ Leonard nodded into Ray’s shoulder, “A few weeks ago. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you, trying to figure out if I really had to.” _

_ “Leonard.” Ray didn’t know what he wanted to say. The last thing he wanted to think about right now was the sea.  _

_ “I don’t want you to go.” Leonard told him, voice quiet and almost unsure, “But I can’t pretend I don’t have it, or that you have to stay here if you really don’t want to.” _

_ Ray took hold of one of Leonard’s hands, pulled it to his lips and pressed a kiss against it, “Thank you.”  _

\---

Being with Leonard was so easy, so natural. It had been awkward and fumbling and overwhelming that first time, and Ray had all but forgotten the mechanics and remembered nothing but the words Leonard whispered to him. 

Yet now, four years on, everything felt like second nature, no less thrilling, no less special, but easy, natural.

Ray knows that a whisper behind Leonard’s ear, makes him shake, a kiss to the hip bone makes him gasp, tracing his ribs with his fingers makes him purr his name. Leonard knows a promise to Ray’s collarbone sends a jolt through him, and a tongue at a nipple makes him chuckle, and quiver. 

They move together naturally, Leonard’s voice in Ray’s ear telling him how much he loves him, how perfect he is, how he’s changed his life and he’ll never be the same again.

\---

_ Ray had raced through coral reefs, had chased dolphins, and rode slipstreams, and flown through the waves. _

_ Yet nothing had ever felt so thrilling as waking up with Leonard curled around him, head resting on his chest, and legs twined with his. Nothing he’d seen was more beautiful than Leonard’s warm smile. No cove could match up to the joy he found in Leonard’s arms.  _

_ Being in love was thrilling, and exhausting, and Ray could see why it was such an obsession on the land. He wanted to write epic poems about his love for Leonard, sing songs, tell stories of how amazing and wonderful everything felt. _

_ It would have been enough to drive him insane, if he hadn’t known that Leonard was feeling it too.  _

\---

Even now. 

Laid with Leonard’s arms wrapped around him, Leonard whispering against his shoulder how much he loved him, how he didn’t want him to go, didn’t want him to leave him, how he wished he could go with him, how he’d abandon the world for Ray. 

Ray needs to move, needs to climb out of the bed and pull himself away from Leonard or he’ll never leave. And he needs to leave. He  _ needs _ to leave.

“Leonard.” Ray whispers quietly, “I need…”

Leonard’s arms tighten further about Ray’s waist, “Just five more minutes.” 

Leonard begins pressing kisses into his neck, his shoulder, his hair, “Please, Ray, please don’t leave me.” 

There’s a wetness against Ray’s arm, and he knows Leonard is crying. He can’t see Leonard crying, he’ll never leave. He’ll break, and he’ll stay forever, and he wants to stay forever. God, he wants to stay more than he’s wanted anything. Why is he fighting this so much?

Why does he have to leave? It’s been seven years, is the ocean really his home? More than this little cottage, with its scorched walls, its scuffed floorboards, the bed with the dented mattress, the lumpy sofa, Mick.  _ Leonard. _

“I don’t want to go.” 

The words are so quiet, Ray wonders if he’s just thought them. He almost hopes he has. Does he mean them? Does he really want to give everything up for the land, for the messy, confusing human life he’s been saddled with? 

“Leonard,” Ray says, louder, “I don’t want to go. I want to stay.” 

Leonard stops his kisses, leaves his forehead pressed against Ray’s shoulder, “Don’t say it unless you mean it.” 

“I mean it. Leonard. I mean it, I want to stay.” He rolls over, to make sure he’s looking Leonard in the eyes. They’re wet with tears, red and how could Ray have ever thought this was okay. 

He takes Leonard’s face in his hands, “I want to stay. If you’ll have me. I want to stay with you.” 

Ray wipes Leonard’s tears from his cheeks. 

“And how do I know you won’t just leave as soon as I fall asleep?” Leonard asks. Ray doesn’t know if he’s joking, or if he really thinks Ray could ever leave without saying goodbye. 

The answer, when it comes, is so perfect, Ray wonders how he’s never thought about it before. 

“ _ Normally _ when you like someone,” Ray says, wiping another tear from Leonard’s cheek, “you don’t burn their property.” 

It takes Leonard a moment before the realisation hits him, and his smile grows so wide it could eclipse the sun. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come squee with me on [Tumblr](http://damnstevens.tumblr.com).


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